I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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