Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
