i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
