Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
