just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
My feet surprised me
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize