You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
