do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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