The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize