the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
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