But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
