He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
