he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
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The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
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I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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