hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
