oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
