i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Houston, we have a blender
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
