Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
