omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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