Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
