I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
