youre lurking in front of me
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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