yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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