I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
