walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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