I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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