I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
