nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
We had sex on a dog bed..
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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