so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
