After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
You're completely useless in the revolution.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I want to walk on stilts...naked
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
