at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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