i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
