My cat gives me a boner
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
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She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
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I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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