You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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