'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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