dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
