just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
