It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
