U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize