I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
