When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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