Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize