ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
