Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
