We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
