Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
