what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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