I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
