I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
