butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
