I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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