Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
