Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
