I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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