Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize