CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Nobody cheats on THIS.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
