i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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